What are my TRUE intentions?

It all comes down to your TRUE intentions.

Sometimes when we pray, pray for something really serious, and difficult…. He doesn’t answer in the positive… (in our minds it’s not the positive). But in fact, if it’s HIS WILL, it IS the positive – no matter what the answer. For we do not see the unseen, He sees ALL things…. no matter what the answer… it’s the positive.

When we come to the point where we have the capacity to believe that… THEN we are on the right path.
Choose to believe the right thing!

“Not all who sound religious are really godly people. They may refer to me as ‘Lord,’ but still won’t get to heaven. For the decisive question is whether they obey my Father in heaven. 22 At the Judgment[d] many will tell me, ‘Lord, Lord, we told others about you and used your name to cast out demons and to do many other great miracles.’ 23 But I will reply, ‘You have never been mine.[e] Go away, for your deeds are evil.’
Matthew 17:21-23

Lord, Clean my intentions. Amen.

Dear Lord.. remind me…

Thought I’d share this little personal struggle here so I can come back to it and be reminded of my strong resolve.

Choosing a gentle reply doesn’t mean you’re weak; it actually means you possess a rare and Godly strength.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

It’s the difference between a ‘knee jerk’ reaction and a reply.
Knee jerk reaction is typically a harsh words used to prove how wrong the other person is. NO GOOD EVER COMES FROM THIS!!

I need a preplanned template to keep me from spewing.

1. Begin by honoring the one offended. Not the words spoken or written, but the PERSON. FIND SOMETHING good to say first… then give your well thought out, kind and sensitive reply.
2. Keep your response short and full of grace. The wordier, the riskier. Clarify your response wrapped in grace. STICK TO THE ISSUE AT HAND… not history. And thank them for understanding and extending you grace in the situation.
3. End by extending compassion. Hurting people often hurt people. Sometimes, harsh words, texts or emails are better left unanswered… it may be they person just needed to vent. As I often tell my children: Don’t make their problem yours.

Remember: Honor, Grace Compassion.

Dear Lord, I commit to the challenge of holding my tongue in order to honor, give grace, and have compassion for others. Please give me the strength to do this today.
(And when something really angers me, please help me understand why and deal with it in MY HEART!)

*Credit goes to Lisa TerKeusts “Unglued”.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Durban beach Holiday 1959ish

Durban beach Holiday 1959ish

My Dad. Henry Edward Schultz. (Otherwise known as Harry) It’s his birthday. He would have been 93 today. Happy Birthday Daddy. I could not wish for a better father. He is my hero. Pulled himself up from poverty to success even though he had some serious limitations. We always joked about how he couldn’t spell. He loved crossword puzzles and often had some problems because he would find a word that fit… but it wasn’t spelt correctly… it was our inside joke … he played along and did it for some fun.

My Dad - 1981ishHe had a great sense of humor. He LOVED telling stories of his youth and LOVED learning new things. He was very passive, tolerant and gentle, but when his morals and values were questioned or threatened to be compromised he stood up like a giant and fought for right.

My personal favorite memory (and I think of it often) is being gently held down in church on his lap, with his two fingers over my eyes holding them closed so I would go to sleep and stop my distracting nonsense.
This is a “minds eye” picture of my heavenly Father and His love for me. We are so often distracted by the world and we forget where and who we are … * Father ‘holds me down’, and i know i am in his eyes watching me*. The best thing is Father knows what’s best for me and makes me remember that with this picture. We often think that we know what we want and need, but He knows best and if we allow it, if we are teachable and willing, He will help us to “get back on track”.

I love you Daddy. I miss you down to the deepest part of my being.
I know you are singing in heaven today.

*Adapted from a song by Michelle Tumes:
(I believe it’s because of my earthly dad that I can say this song speaks exactly of who I am….)

Durban beach Holiday 1959ish

Durban beach Holiday 1959ish

– Michelle Tumes

when i wake
when i sleep
by your whispers that seek to reach me
my Constant One

when i dance
when i leap
where i run
You are with me

everyday every night
after death in this life
You are constantly keeping
in my joy
in my strife
when i taste my desires
i am caught in Your eyes holding me
my Constant One

when i feast on Your words that You speak
they will feed my hunger
my Constant One

where i lay
when i rest
i will say that i love you

everyday every night
after death in this life
You are constantly keeping
in my joy in my strife
when i taste my desires
i am caught in your eyes holding me
my Constant one

i wanna kiss the mouth that soothes me
when the smile has vanished from my face
when I sparkle in the mist that clouds me
be sure that I am lost in You
lost without a trace
my Constant One

lost without a trace
my constant One

On this, my birthday… deep thoughts and promises to myself.

Thank you Lord for your Love and Mercy that brings me to another day that indelibly marks your blessing on my life. I receive it. Thank You for the broken chains that I see in the ashes around me, because of Your great love and kindness. You know before I even know, what my life needs.
“So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: BOUNTIFUL IN FRUITS FROM THE SOUL, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-10 The Message.
Mmmm “bountiful in fruits from the soul”. Deep thoughts.

You cannot be satisfied with loving others until you are satisfied with loving yourself; who you are, and happy/satisfied with that. We’re often times self loathing because we have let ourselves down in some form or another. We have a mental picture of how we want ourselves to look and be. When we have those momentary glimpses of who we really have become, sometimes in character and sometimes in physique. We realize that we have let ourselves go, allowed ourself to “give in” even though we know what’s good for us. And we become depressed and hopeless. Thinking we have no control over it.
That feeling of dissatisfaction bleeds onto others… And sometimes it’s not pretty.
The thing is : WE DO HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE IT. All it takes is the realization of that, and a strong resolve to love yourself enough to hold to your wisdom; the self-control you know you need to commit to, that will give you “the fruits of the soul” that you long for in yourself.

Establish what is appropriate, sincere and intelligent; make the decision to live like that in public AND in private. Simple as that! (If someone spoke to us like we often speak to ourselves, we would avoid them at all costs.) So take yourself in hand, and turn the negatives into positives… Be true to yourself.

I resolve to live my life circumspectly: (deliberate and guarded), and exemplary: (admirable, blameless, with character, honorable); a life Jesus will be proud of.

My heart cry is that my children KNOW YOU IN THIS WAY.

* I am worthy of the best, worthy of being satisfied that I do have personal integrity that, when I “catch a glimpse of myself”, I am satisfied that I’ve been true to myself.

(This deep moment was inspired by:
1) … the instructors in Bikram Yoga who often say: “Be honest with yourself, you’re the only one who will know.”
2) … Orrin Woodward in a LLR cd, in explaining personal integrity, said “Fitness Is a byproduct of personal integrity.” I have claimed that as my lives mantra… Success, in everything, is a byproduct of personal integrity!
3) … the words that are spoken of me when I get up to speak in a meeting.
4) … My Lord, who loves me unconditionally. There’s nothing I can do to make Him love me more. There’s nothing I can do to make Him love me less.

Click on this link to be fully blessed by an incredibly loving Father who’s shown me grace, loving kindness, redemption and broken my chains….

Our Children Are Going to a Time and Place that We Will Never See? (What are we Sending ?)

(This was written on 4/30/14)

When I was a child, we would play a variation of ‘hide-and-seek’. There would be a ’sentinel’ appointed at ‘base’ to “HOLD THE KEEP”. They guarded the ‘base’ so no one could come and seek refuge there, because if you ‘blocked yourself’ on base, you ‘won’ and could not be captured. 

Does your child know their responsibility to “HOLD THE KEEP”? Teach your children to stand in DEFENSE of the FUTURE that we will never see.

I had the privilege of hearing an amazing speaker and business partner, Lupe Gamez speak at a business meeting.
Of the many meaningful and motivational things he said, this is what I have not been able to get out of my mind:

“Your children. They’re going to a time that you will never see.

What message are you sending with them?”

This gripped my heart.


Then, this morning, I was listening to something and this word jumped out and set up camp in my mind.

I looked it up in the dictionary…





a person or thing that watches or stands as if watching.

a soldier stationed as a guard to challenge all comers and prevent a surprise attack: to stand sentinel.

to watch over or guard as a sentinel.

verb (used with object), sen·ti·neled, sen·ti·nel·ing or especially British sen·ti·nelled,sen·ti·nel·ling

sen·ti·nel·like, adjective
sen·ti·nel·ship, noun
un·sen·ti·neled, adjective
un·sen·ti·nelled, adjective
1570–80;  < Middle French sentinelle  < Italian sentinella,  derivative of Old Italian sentina  vigilance ( Latin sentīre to observe) + -īna -ine2 )

1, 2. sentry, guard, watch, lookout.
Dictionary.com Unabridged
I got very emotional as I read the Definition of this word.
When I first heard Lupe say:

“Your children. They’re going to a time that you will never see. What message are you sending with them?”

I immediately thought of the way we parent our children, relate to them, discipline them, transfer our morals and values; and (with all I am learning lately) I was thinking “in regards to their self-talk”. So my first thought was a personal and self-image kind of “message”. 
But then this morning I heard that word “sentinel”. It was like a bullet that pierced my heart. Tears flowed as I realized how we have failed. We as a people have failed to convey to our children the importance of “standing guard”, as a soldier against that which would come against our freedoms, our beliefs and our futures! And “to prevent a surprise attack”, wow, this reminded me of a quote by Edmund Burke: 

“The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good Men Do Nothing.”

I feel that we have fallen into, or been lulled into, a complacency. WHERE HAVE ALL THE SENTINELS GONE?? If there aren’t any Sentinels today…. There will be non tomorrow.
I have a challenge for parents. Don’t allow media to influence and mold the moral values and virtues of your children! This is a deep subject, and I welcome any and all comments and opinions. Lets band together and vow to “hold the keep”. 
When I was a child, we would play a variation of ‘hide-and-seek’. There would be a ’sentinel’ appointed at ‘base’ to “HOLD THE KEEP”. They guarded the ‘base’ so no one could come and seek refuge there, because if you ‘blocked yourself’ on base, you ‘won’ and could not be captured. 
KEEP (from the Middle English kype) is a type of fortified tower built within castles during the Middle Ages by Europeannobility. They were usually considered as fortified residences, used as a refuge of last resort should the rest of the castle fall to an adversary.  There is a vast and interesting history, but suffice to say, the stone KEEPS during the 10th and 11th centuries were built with a round, square or rectangular design, made with Stone, and could take up to a decade to build.


They carried considerable political as well as military importance, and the younger generation were taught how to seek refuge there, and given explicit instruction and were very well educated on the culture, beliefs and moral standard of the country/kingdom, were all the leaders and rulers be killed. They held the future in their hands.
Are you teaching your children to ‘HOLD THE KEEP’ for coming generations?
Deuteronomy 11:18-21 “Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night. Inscribe them on the doorposts and gates of your cities so that you’ll live a long time, and your children with you, on the soil that God promised to give your ancestors for as long as there is a sky over the Earth.” The Message (MSG)

Last days of my mother…

last writings from failing eyesight
In loving memory of my mom. From my point of view.

Always on my mind, forever in my heart. Best mom anyone could ask for.
She is my benchmark for a deep and genuine relationship with my Lord. Brave. Committed. Consistent. Strong. Faithful. Spiritual. Loving. Kind. Gentle. Companionate. Patient. Marvelous granny. Good cook. Crafty. Knowledgable. Moral. Upright. Assertive. Fearless. Integruous. Friend. Spiritual Giant!

Towards the end of her life my dear mom did not have it all good. My heart bled for her everyday. She was in a frail care facility for which I am VERY grateful (especially to my big brother Henry who sacrificed much to ensure she received the best care). Mom had glaucoma. She had waited too long to seek help and as a result became legally blind in her 70s. Her and my dad were very blessed to stay in the AGS “Old Age Home” in a lovely apartment in Table view Capetown. They were there for each other for a long time before my dad passed away. Dad was mostly deaf, and would always joke and say “I have the eyes, she had the ears”. But my dear old dad is a subject for another day.

For many many years aft16437_1303658632809_1108864_ner dad passed away, the only contact I had with mom was a phone call. She moved to the Frail care facility in Kliprivier, Western Cape. The public phone was about 25 steps away from her room; Often times I would call and no one would answer because the staff was busy taking care of bed baths, medication allotments and/or dinner time. When someone did answer the phone usually they could not (would not) speak english and I battled to get them to understand for whom I was calling. Eventually they’d say, OH Ms Schultz, hou aan, I’ll get her. Then a long, long wait…. then I’d hear her voice coming closer and closer, and then the shuffling, then the search for a chair so she could sit, and then her sweet frail voice… Hello, who is this? Jan, Jan is that you… then through tears she’d tell me how she’d been thinking if me, praying … how were the children… go through each one. It was heart rending to be 10 000 miles away!!

I was enormously blessed to be able to spend 3 weeks with her in South Africa during the last year of her life. a blessed time I will never, ever forget. This is when I really got to know my mom and what she had gone through, and what she had become.

During these last years of her life, there were many limitations that could not be overcome; the biggest one being that the facility was of another faith and language. Yet she never complained about those who would come and care for her who could not (would not) speak english to her. She would smile and just be grateful, kind and forgiving, muddle through whatever it was they were doing for her. She would pray for them.

She was hard of hearing. We had provided a radio/cassette player for her so she could spend the endless days at least listening to some music or listening to tapes of sermons or motivational talks. But what happened was, she could not use the ear phones, so she would have to put it so loud that the entire place was subjected to whatever it was she was listening to. As a result, a nurse would come and unplug it from the wall, so that it would not work…. she’d fiddle with it endlessly and then tell us it was broken. Until my brother Ernest or some kind person would discover the ‘fault’ and plug it in again and so the cycle would start again.

There was a ‘deacon’ from the affiliated church that was assigned to visit with her each week. He was VERY Afrikaans and had a hard time reading to her from her English Bible. But it was a hi-light of her week.

For mom to get around comfortably without her cane, we would stand facing her and we’d link our forearms and we would walk backwards. We joked about it and said we’re “doing the shuffle” again. She preferred just hanging on to us like this rather than using her stick. (besides, we were scared of her with a stick!) lol

Her bed is so high she had to hoist herself up onto it. When she was sitting on it her feet didn’t touch the floor. That was the extent of her daily physical exertion. At least it was something…

While I was there she got me to tidy and sort through her things. It was a very emotional thing for me. Many of the things she thought were there, were not. Only conclusion being that “someone needed it more than her” is what she said. Several sad things I found… my dads papers and lifes “treasures” – of which there were few.
There were two boxes of his belongings that mom had not even looked at since he passed away… some of his treasures… His wallet, his pocket knife, an old clock he’d had since I can remember, his nail cutters… (Choke, sniff).

I also found Many letters unopened, from me, and my niece. The pictures in Lesleys letters were so, so precious. She desperately tried to see them with her 1/2 inch thick glasses and magnifying glass, but she said “there’s not enough light”. She got me to put them on her wall next to her bed where she could touch them.

Mom had her hair washed and styled every Friday. This week dec 4, 09, she had a perm. She wanted to know if it looked good. She also has a Lady come and “do” her nails about once a month. I’m really glad about this. It’s not something people think about, but for the elderly this could be a serious problem. Besides, a girl needs to feel a little pampered and beautiful now and then right?

THE most heart rending thing was that I got to take her to the hospital for her eye check up. This was a ritual that happened about 4 or 5 times a year. Usually the home would call a “taxi” for her and she had to pay. She was so, so happy that her appointment was during my visit. But the sad, sad thing…This was a very very difficult thing for me to see. Moms eyes are way beyond help, but she had to continue to see the specialists in order to keep tabs on the pressure- which would give her severe headaches; and to remove the eye lashes that continue to grow in towards the eye, scratching and irritating the eye ball no end. The pain my poor little mom had to endure during this procedure was excruciating. Even the doctor was apologizing profusely with each eyelash removed. She had to remove about 20 or more.

Mom says: “don’t worry you do your job, and I’ll moan. It’s worth the pain for the relief I will feel tomorrow”.
It saddens my heart at the thought that she has to go through this alone every 2 or 3 months. Oh what a heaviness it is to me that I was so far away, and there was no one to take her.

While I was visiting I “broke mom out” of the frail care Facility (we joked). We treated her like a queen, she said. She was in her element! I put a chair in the shower and she said it was the first shower she’d had in years. She LOVED it.

The most important thing I found was that her face was set as flint towards her Lord. Listening, hearing and interceding for her country, her people, her care givers and her family.

She would talk about her great grandchildren and say don’t forget to teach them “Jesus Loves me this I know”.

I was privileged to be able to ask her some deep questions …. Question: What would be some last words you’d want to say to your loved ones?
Answer: it was wonderful to be your mother and grandmother. I loved to watch you grow and become independent. Seek The Lord with all your strength because He is the guiding light of our lives. Even if you don’t believe, He gave His Son as a sacrifice – it is awesome that we might be fully redeemed. Although we as human beings let Him down so badly, He still stepped up and gave His life. Tell satan to go to hell and take his devils with him!

I love you mom.

…. Be successful in everything you do…

You, my Lord says:
“Come to me! I’m all you need.
Come to Me ! I’m your everything.
Don’t look to the right or to the left…
Keep your eyes on Me.
You will not be shaken.
You will not be moved
I am the hand to hold
I am the truth
I am the way
I am all you need.
Just come to Me …
… Come to Me ….
… cause I’m all that you need.”

(Paraphrased prayer from…
Matthew 11:28
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ”

“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do.”
Joshua 1:7

“So be very careful to follow everything Moses wrote in the Book of Instruction. Do not deviate from it, turning either to the right or to the left.”
Joshua 23:6

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

“Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left.”
Isaiah 30:21

“… and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14 NASB

Our Deepest Fear

powerful-beyond-measure“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson

Daily Habits Make My Life…

Watch your thoughts
they become your words
Watch your words
they become your actions
Watch your actions
they become your habits
Watch your habits
they become your DESTINY.
Josh Deon quoted this in
“How to Keep Good Habits”.

I am small…

I am an infinitesimal speck of dust on the pages of prophecy. However, because I believe He suffered and died specifically for me… And rose again on the third day, my life counts to Him! Not by anything that I have done or could ever do!!

“If you confess that Jesus is Lord and believe that God raised him from death, you will be saved. For it is by our faith that we are put right with God; it is by our confession that we are saved.” Romans 10:9-10 GNT

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